Ex Files: The Tally.

Ok, so Kiki’s vlog has me a bit hooked.

I know. Hopefully not a massive potential for trouble, right?

(I thought about linking to Kiki’s vlog, but I figure that’s one step from Ben reading this, and really, while I’m happy for the world to hear my crazy thoughts, I’d like to keep Ben a little ignorant of that side of me for a little bit longer.)

Kiki tallies up the points of her exes to try to find the best ex (in the context of being able to be friends with your ex):
+10 points for practical knowledge imparted by them
+20 points for emotional lesson learned
-11 points for GTFO moments

My theory on it all? #8: Experience the bad and you can better appreciate the good. (+20 specifically to Peter for that one).

I know I haven’t told all of the stories yet, but they’ll come with time. For now you can get the summaries. If there’s actually someone reading these and you’re interested to hear one of the Ex Files stories specifically, you’re going to have to comment!

(Note: pseudonyms for Exes 1 through 3 are not set in stone, but I’m pretty happy with them 🙂 Wish I could share them with you since I’m pretty proud of how I came to them all)

Ex #1: Mitchell
+10 for all of the help with debating/mooting/study/other school activities
+10 releasing sexual energy can help with better sleep
+20 just because a guy seems perfect to everyone else, doesn’t mean you should settle for them if you’re feelings aren’t 100% in it
+20 long distance, even for a short period is difficult – you have to put in the effort
-11 (because I need a negative here for him) for the guilt I felt because of the guilt he felt about how it ended (?because I didn’t know how to break up with someone at that point)
Total: 49

Ex #2: Scott
+10 attempting to improve my computer/video games skills
+10 improving my cool-factor by getting me to watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer
+20 my first. (should count for something)
+20 standing up for oneself is important
-11 should have stood up for me when his dad was being a bully
-11 grabbing my boobs in public. constantly
Total: 38

Ex #3: Alex
+10 learning to be confident enough to wear a naughty nurses outfit (and to show just a little of the sexy lingerie too)
+20 mutual fun flirtatiousness
+20 essentially a one night stand + walk of shame (bucket list achievement?)
-11 essentially a one night stand
Total: 39

Ex #4: Peter
+10 how to check the air in my car tyres
+10 (Because I’m sure I learnt more practical things in 5 years, I just can’t remember)
+20 excitement in the danger
+20 ultimate trust associated with being with someone you know inside out
+20 importance of knowing what’s bad to be able to appreciate what’s good
-11 artificial-mj smoking (even with the where and when I’d asked him not to)
-11 let 2x juice boxes explode over walls/furniture (in the bedroom), and didn’t clean them up
-11 vomiting on me while I slept
-11 allowing me to do everything for him and not being able to do anything for me
Total: 37

Ex #5: Arnold
+10 squats = sexy butt
+20 sometimes sex is just about getting some and not about the emotional connection
-11 photos of his muscles. still getting these btw. oh and the pictures of his penis.
-11 implying I need to work out to get a better “booty”
Total: 8

Ok fine, so Ex #1 was probably always going to be the winner – still wouldn’t ever go back there though, he’s good in the outer edge of the friend zone. Weird that Scott and Alex both ended up with more points than Peter – relationship with Peter means more to me overall, even though the last year was pretty awful.

I may update these if I remember more things, but I feel pretty good about the tally as it stands.

Thanks goes to Kiki 🙂 Highly recommend everyone does this – really helps to put things into perspective.

– Dr O.


About Dr O

Doctor Gigi Orist at your service, presenting theories for your enjoyment and trying to get myself through life in the process!

One response to “Ex Files: The Tally.

  1. Pingback: Leaving it for history’s sake. | The Orist.

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